Letter of Grief… Good Bye “O Brother”…

To my dear Friend and Brother, Dr. Aminuddeen Ibrahim Idris, a tribute…

By Abdul-Rahman Baban Saibo

babansaibo@gmail.com

“Oga”! So it is true that one never knows the true value of some(one/thing) until they lost them/it? It’s very surprising how the news of your un-notified departure from earth created this vast space in my world. I fear the space is here to remain –indelible…

The call came through around 5:30pm on Friday the 29^th of January 2016. The ringing phone awoke me of my light doze, the caller was ‘Ray’, I thought to myself, ‘I almost missed the tradition’. But, was that call the regular Friday traditional calls? “Salamu’alaikum wa rahmatullah”, I answered, “Ya Jerry boy?” I greeted. “Lafiya lau wallahi A1, ya garinne?” he replied. I returned “Alhamdulillah wallah, yaya baby na da maman ta?” he hesitated a little there, and then he returned “lafiyan su lau wallah. Kana ina ne?” feeling guilty (for not notifying him of my trip to Katsina) I replied, “Ina Katsina wallahi”. Once again I could register the hesitation in his voice, but then he uttered “Toh! Eh lallai! Gaye Allah yayi ma Aminu rasuwa fa!” And there came the shocker! All my intelligible were struggling to adhere to what was just related to the ear, but… although the ego pictured you as the subject in reference; the mind was tussling to deny it. “Innaa lillahi wa innaa ilaihiraji’uun. Waye Aminu!?” I retorted in disbelief. “Aminun su dan Haya…” He relayed without a trace of humor in his voice. “Innaalillahi wa innaa ilairaji’uun, innaalillahi wa innaa ilaihiraji’uun…” I muttered repeatedly... As I enquired for details, he relayed that it was a car accident and that your body was on its way home… I then told him that am going to have to call him back –a call I never returned…

For a moment there, it seemed as if the light of the day was snapped out; my hearing became muffled; even my mind became stagnated. The entire world appeared to have frozen. But, the mind still tried to resist the situation. So, I immediately scrolled down to your contact number and pressed the dial button; unbeknownst to me, ‘that’s the last time I will be dialing that number!’…

Perhaps it was the result of the long fragmented dreams I have been experiencing those days that made me felt like ‘I was just dreaming’. In those days every-time I go to sleep I have these disturbing-roughed dreams, most of which I forget what they were about at the instance of my wake; some I wake up to sit and wonder over them, “what’s going on?” I used to ask. Others I just eject with a sigh and turn to the other side mumbling supplications. Perhaps it’s the spirits’ own way of telepathically reckoning the shocker ahead. And perhaps, they were just some-bad-nights. The Omniscient knows best!

When I went to your home, after my journey back from Katsina, my senses were all willing and eager to register you amongst the crowd gathered in front of your home. No! There was no you! Still, my imaginative tried to suggest you were inside; that if I waited a bit longer you will show-face. Albeit, all this was, yet the ego maintained its post, ‘why are they mourning? Why are some crying? Why aren’t you believing?’ the ego asked.  It wasn’t until I went in to condole your ‘Mom’ that evening that I verily awoke of my slumber. My encounter with her had me disregard all the mind’s suggestions and settled for the ego’s declarations. She said to me “Hakuri ai naku ne Abdul-Rahman. Ai Aminu yana nan tunda kuna nan,” that statement did actually had my heart tumble to a stop! All the while I tried to withhold it, but that instance did opened the path for the tears to pass. I had no more power for no resistance, no more reasons to dis-believe, not a naivety to settle for nor a hope to embrace. You are gone! And that’s it! It is then as you often say, “C’est la vie”, so, “Lahaula wala quwwata illabillah”…

That night I stayed up all through. I sat to recollect all the moments we shared together. When we were ten we got admitted to an Islamiyya in anguwan mai kafi. I recall the classes were terraces of people’s home. You, me and ‘dan Haya’ used to escape before school was over, we usually tell the mallam “zan je bawali” and from thence we take our dash. How funny, that is! We never stayed long in that school though. You were usually absent during the kids’ night out when we go to play ‘boji-boji’, ‘digo’, ‘limamin azare’ when the moon is high up and bright. And whence we gather for ‘ciyayya’ and ‘kwana zaune’, you were always missing in those too. Well, I must say that’s a result of your strict father. He is, yes, a no-nonsense man. He is always cautious as to what, where and who his children are, with and doing. I respect him most for his particular sheer carefulness towards his kids’ education. Perhaps that’s why you were made a ‘book-master’.

During secondary school days we grew apart. We only seldom meet in Islamiyya and the Masjid, for then you were going to Command Day Secondary School and I to Science Toro; I later transferred back to Fariah just to learn that you were that lad who rode his bicycle to school, yet never fails to score 1^st position in class. By whence you were in SS3 you were made the school head-boy. I also remember you sometimes come to Habu’s house where we gather to study for our SSCE exams and study with us. I enjoyed those days.

When I heard about your JAMB result, I pictured for you ‘Medicine’. What else? That was why I wasn’t surprised a bit when you told me about your getting admitted into the University of Maiduguri to study Medicine. I then learnt from your school-mates and friends that you were not only a student, but an ‘under-graduate assistant-lecturer’ too... LOL! I heard you treat almost every problem your friends come to you with. You were reckoned a ‘genius’ by all.

You and I grew fond of each other during holidays. We used to meet and spend the day talking at the Jarmajos BQ (area). The ASUU-strike days were those you indoctrinated me to the love of books. We began with the James Hadley Chases’. Later you introduced me to those ebooks of them Alexandre Dumas, Dan Brown, Sidney Sheldon, Robert Ludlum, John Grisham, J K Rowlings, J R R Tolkien et al… I must confess: reading and talking of them books with you inspired me to write. Well I must add, you also did encourage my writing. There was that time whence I began writing a novel “Either-ways”, and I brought it to you to see, you pointed out to me where I was deficient. You were that very person whom advised me to continue writing until I attain a “perfect pen”; which is why I still refer to myself as a pen-perfectionist and not a writer, yet. I wish you’d be there to approve whether perfection has been attained.

I also confess that I will miss your presence; that which never hesitates to teach when asked, that which loves to explain when not understood, that which argues objectively, that which conforms with satisfaction to appropriation, most of all, I do not know whom to go to now when in need of a technical medical explanation. You have spoilt me with elaborate explanations of medical cases in perfect layman’s terms. Remember when I asked you whether migraine and epilepsy could be a coherent phenomenon, or whether one could result in generating the other as a neurological disorder? And that time whence I asked you to explain the mechanism of sleep. I still can recall the entire process as you conveyed it to me… You should have gone for neurology. That I always argued! But your stubbornness had stuck to Dentistry which I never understood why, till date.

There’s that quietness which most oft leaves you looking at people as they speak. Well, with that you always lead discussions even without saying much; perhaps it was why you once wrote on your facebook wall, “I believe in the virtue of silence”…

You came, you taught, you accompanied, you led, you encouraged, you advised, you built, and then, you left… what a phenomenal journey! A friend of mine said you were of those kinds whom only come to this world to help other people attain their dreams. I agree. Well, you did left behind a very happy home. Your exceptionally kind and generous mom whom is ever pleased to extend a helping hand to those in need. That incredible warm and cozy gesture of hers’, I will miss those moments when she comes to complain of our endless togetherness, “wai ku baku gajiya ne kan? Se ku zauna ku wuni hira se kace wasu mata?” Where you always retort, “toh wai ke mom meye kike so muyi don Allah, yaushe rabon da mu hadu ma?” ‘Haya’, the nimble tireless one, he never says ‘no’ or ‘can’t’ when favors are asked of him; that’s indeed a character of yours’; ‘Abba’ the young ‘Hafiz’, always ever willing to learn; teaching has also become a habit of his; ‘Maijidda’ extracted your blossoming humility, obedience and self respect; Where ‘Muhammad’, inherited your obvious “virtue of silence”; and ‘Hafsa’, the one I call ‘trouble-girl’, she always had your self confidence, straight forwardness and self expression. I have always seen a part of you in each of your siblings, though never did I quiet realize why… Now I know!

Yes! You left behind a happy family, a happy people, and lots of happy memories. I guess building a happy world is the faith you always upheld, perhaps it is why you said, “Faith is believing what you do not yet see. Its reward is to see what you believe.” How I wish you could see what a happy world you enshrined. Perhaps you wanted to extend more, but, the great book had already decreed, “… And when their term has come, they will not remain behind an hour, nor will they precede [it].” Although yourself have always taken heed, I must say; for your own words were, “Just like there was a time when we were not among those living on this earth, there will come a time when even our traces would have been wiped off this earth. Make good use of this opportunity called LIFE coz one day it might just be a little too late.” How solemnly solid these words are.

I have always known that at a point in time am going to have to write a letter to you. Never have I ever imagined it being a tribute, even if it be that, not it being this soon. No! Am going to have to let you rest now, for if I am to go on and on, I am going to end up writing a book; coz like Hai Ibn Yukhdhan left behind “the improvement of human reasoning” you also left behind what I would like to term “the improvement of human virtue”… For, from you a lot was learnt; a lot is to be learned; a lot could have been learnt… In your own words: “O death the shatterer of dreams, the breaker of any bonds. It announces not where and when it’ll come but it surely will come whether we are ready or not. Pious people are never those who fear death. But rather, they are those who make provisions for its inevitable coming. May Allah help us to be among the pious.” Ameen ya Rabb.

Aminuddeen, O dear brother, in our hearts you will remain loved, cherished and longed. We will forever miss your strong honest presence. And we shall forever be grateful of the brief blessed intervention with which you graced our lives... Until we meet again – a time which the senses suggests won’t be long from now – I say to you O beloved brother, ‘fee Rahmatillah’…

Aide-memoir;

“My friends! However prolonged this worldly life may be, it is mortal and must end and however great may be the possessions of this world, one day they are bound to be left behind…  What plans had they conceived! How they entertained thought of making provisions for years ahead! And yet death was hovering over their heads. The final day of their lives had come, but they knew not that tonight they would be no more. Such is mine own case. I am busy planning my life to-day. Little do I know what will happen to me tomorrow.”- Khawaja Muhammad Islam

“... And no soul perceives what it will earn tomorrow, and no soul perceives in what land it will die. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted.”-[Luqman:34]